


Nothing Without You

by Shyvixy



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: HRT, Human AU, Human Names Used, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, TW mention of abuse, TW mention of suicide, Tattoos, Trans charactor, denfin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyvixy/pseuds/Shyvixy
Summary: I suck at summaries but this is was going to be a short drabble that turned into more. I hope you like itMads and Timo have been dating for a few years now. This is about discovering your self, and finding the people who make you happy.
Relationships: Denmark/Finland (Hetalia)
Kudos: 2





	Nothing Without You

Mads sat in the chair and looked over at the tools set out in front of him.

He felt a small sense of fear in the pit of his stomach wondering how bad a tattoo hurt.

His boyfriend Timo had about three and he said the only one that really hurt was the rose on his shoulder blade.

Mads sighed as he thought of the rose. 

It was pretty, sure but what it had underneath always made Mads a bit upset. 

Timo and Mads had known each other since high school but had only been in a serious relationship for about a year and a half now. 

The rose had once been Timo’s exe’s name.

The same ex that separated Timo from his friends and family.

The same ex that made Timo flinch when ever Mads spoke just a little too loudly.

The same ex that put Timo in the hospital where he and Mads met up again after graduation.

Mads was in the same room as Timo. 

Mads looked over at the tools this time to distract himself from unwanted thoughts.

The young man who was doing the tattoo came over and sat down. 

He had wavy blonde hair that went down to his chin and quite a few tattoos himself and looked at Mads with a disinterested expression.

“Would you like any wording around it?” The artist asked in a strong Norwegian accent.

“No, just the symbol please,” Mads said looking away again.

He felt like a small child about to get a shot at the doctors office. 

The artist noticed this and gave a small sympathetic smile. 

“It’s going to be small; it will be over quickly. You come in with Timo a lot, right?” he said trying to start a small conversation to get Mads’s mind off of the tattoo.

“Yeah, he suggested this place. I think Berwald is the one that’s done all his tattoos,” Mads said looking around for the familiar face. 

There was one other person in the shop.  
A young boy who looked similar to the artist next to him.  
He was sanitizing some needles that Mads guessed were used for piercing.  
“Yeah, he’s out today, he’ll be back in tomorrow I’m Lukas by the way,” Lukas said wiping Mads’s arm with an alcohol pad to clean it before rubbing a coconut smelling substance on the area. 

The smell of the alcohol nearly mad Mads sick.  
He hated that smell.  
He thought of a hospital every time.  
Sure, it’s where him and Timo started talking again but at the same time the reason, he was there made him ashamed of himself.  
No matter how many times Timo reassured that he didn’t judge him and told him it wasn’t his fault.  
No matter how many times he went to therapy and was told that he shouldn’t be ashamed.  
He held his breath until the smell had dissipated.  
He was no longer sure if this was a good Idea or not.  
He knew by now Lukas had to have noticed the scar and was now judging him, or worse, pitying him. 

“I get this tattoo a lot you know. I have one on my ankle,” Lukas said knowing how Mads felt.  
He only shared that bit of information with people that came in for the same tattoo.  
“Glad you’re here by the way. I’m sure Timo is as well. Just remember that ok,” Lukas said with another small smile as he got ready to do his work.  
Mads didn’t know how to respond.  
He had never thought about what would have happened if he had been successful.  
He tried not to think about it.  
It had been Mads that had talked Timo into finally leaving Bjorn.  
Otherwise, he might have gone back to him.  
His stomach churned as he thought of Timo still being with that guy.  
“Yeah, he’s part of the reason I am here,” Mads said under his breath.  
Lukas gave a small nod glancing over at the other person in the shop. 

Before Mads knew it the tattoo was done.  
He looked down and saw the, on his wrist.  
He kind of smiled a little.  
“Hey, Let Timo know he’s due to get his back touched up. I’m sure it’s fading by now,” Lukas said as he took off his gloves.  
He looked over at the other boy in the shop.  
“Emil, you done with those needles yet. Your septum appointments gonna be here any minute,” Lukas asked grabbing the plastic to wrap Mads’s tattoo with before Mads left the shop.  
“I will, and Lukas, thanks,” He said and went to leave.  
As he walked to the car, he looked at the symbol and smiled again. 

Timo had Finntroll Blaring when Mads pulled up.  
He heard the music in the driveway and smiled.  
“How can you hear yourself think,” he said to himself as he smiled shaking his head.  
He walked up and opened the door.  
Normally Timo would be moving about the house and finding stuff to do.  
Mads opened it and found Timo just sitting on the couch staring at the door with his phone in his hand.  
As soon as Mads walked in Timo started rambling.  
“Where the hell were you, I was worried sick! The note said you didn’t want me to know something and it had to do with your past I was thinking I was going to have to call the cops!” Timo rushed over the Mads and Wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.  
Mads could tell Timo was worried.  
He felt bad now for leaving such a cryptic note.  
He wanted the tattoo to be a surprise, not a cause to make his boyfriend worry about him.  
“Timo Heitala. I promised you almost two years ago I’d never try again, and I meant it. I went to get this,” he said pulling up his sleeve to show the new tattoo.  
Timo blinked for a moment before smiling “Your first tattoo…” he said turning in Mads’s arms to look at the symbol.  
He rubbed Mads’s back as he noticed what it was.  
“It looks good. I thought you were joking when you asked for artist recommendations,” Timo said with a small chuckle.  
“You just don’t strike me as the tattoo type,” Timo said shaking his head.  
“Nope this is probably the only one I’ll ever get. I don’t think I can cut the smell of that alcohol again,” Mads said curling up his nose.  
“The drinkable kinds ok still though,” Mad gave Timo a wink.  
“Also, Berwald wasn’t there, I saw Lukas,” Mads said holding Timo with his free hand.  
“He said you need to get your back touched up,” Mads said kissing the top of Timo’s head.  
“Yeah, I got an appointment next week,” Timo said with a wink.  
He broke free from the embrace and went to the small end table next to the couch and got out a jar of cocoa butter.  
“Here, your gonna need this. I’m guessing Lukas told you that you gotta keep that thing moisturized right?” Timo asked holding out the jar for Mads to take.  
“He didn’t, but I told him I knew you, so he probably figured you’d tell me,” Mads said taking it and rubbing a little on the spot where the tattoo was.  
“Ouch,” Mads seethed as he touched the tattoo.  
“Yeah… it’s gonna be tender for a day or two,” Timo said with a sympathetic smile.  
“You gotta keep it moisturized though or it’ll get all crusty,” Timo laughed.

Later on, after dinner Timo went to check the mail.  
He like to check it so that he could get some fresh air and also there was this little dog that had been coming up to him for a few days now and Timo would regularly carry out a small treat for her.  
Today was no different as the little white fluff ball came bounding towards him with her wagging tail.  
“Hello little one, I got you something,” Timo said pulling a small plastic bag with some left-over chicken from Mads’s and his meal.  
“I made sure to rinse all the spices off so it wouldn’t make you sick,” Timo said as he knelt down and held a hand full of chicken out for the little dog.  
She ate it and licked his hand afterwards.  
Timo looked at her for a moment.  
He was beginning to think she might be a stray.  
After a moment of consideration, he carefully reached down to pick her up.  
He had never tried that before and he was a bit concerned that she might bite him.  
Luckily, she let him pick her up and hold her.  
“Wanna come inside? I’m sure my boyfriend would think your as cute as I do,” Timo asked holding her as he got the mail and started back towards the house.  
When he reached the door, he noticed a small package lying next to it that he hadn’t noticed when he came out earlier.  
It was in a small postage bag with Mads’s name on it.  
“I guess the old one got too stretched,” he said bending over to pick up the package. 

As soon as he walked in, he saw Mads walking from the kitchen.  
“Two things,” was all Timo had time to say. “Is… is that a dog?” Mads asked blinking tilting his head to the side.  
“Uh… yeah, she’s been coming up to me for a few days now, I think she might be a stray,” Timo said setting the dog down and shutting the door.  
The little dog coward down behind Timo and whimpered.  
“What’s wrong? Mads wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Timo said smiling down at the pup.  
“Oh, and your new binder came in today,” Timo said remembering the second part.  
“Good, the old one got ripped somehow,” Mads said walking over to Timo.  
The little dog growled low as Mads approached.  
“Timo we can’t keep it if its aggressive,” Mads said looking down at the dog.  
Timo’s heart sank.  
“I’m sure she’s just nervous, give her time to get to know you,” Timo said handing Mads the package and reaching down to comfort the dog.  
“I’m gonna name you bloodthirst,” Timo said with a smile.  
“No,” Mads groaned.  
“Spit wagon?” Timo said sheepishly.  
“No!” Mads said with an exasperated sigh.  
He loved Timo but the man had a horrible sense of naming anything thing.  
Timo though for a moment.  
“Kukka Muna!” he said with a grin.  
“Your name shall be Kukka Muna!” he picked up Kukka and patted her head.  
Kukka licked his hand.  
“She said yes,” Timo said with a grin.  
“She didn’t ‘say’ anything, but at least Kukka Muna sounds cute,” Mads said with a small chuckle.  
“What’s that mean anyway?” Mads said regretting the question as soon as he asked it.  
“Oh, it means Flower Egg,” Timo said carrying the dog further in the house.  
“Of course, it does,” Mads said shaking his head.  
“Why don’t we just stick to calling her Kukka?” Mads asked thinking at least then the dog would have a half-way normal name.  
“Ok, Kukka it is, Welcome home Kukka!” Timo said with a grin.  
Mads was just glad to see Timo happy.  
It’s all he ever wanted to see.  
“Well, I’m going to go try this thing on and see how it fits,” Mads said leaving Timo to his new friend.  
“Alright, if you need any help let me know!” Timo said still focusing on Kukka.  
“I’m going to be giving her a bath,” Timo noticed how matted Kukka’s fur was.  
It made him said to see such a cute puppy in such a state.  
He carried her to the bathroom and sat her in the tub.  
He ran the water and began looking for something he could use as shampoo for her.  
Then it hit him.  
“Stay right here ok, I’m going to get the Dawn dish soap,” he got up and walked towards the kitchen.  
He past the bedroom and looked in.  
He saw Mads standing in front of the mirror looking at himself.  
Timo gave a whistle and winked when Mads turned to look at him.  
“It was a pain to get on, but I finally got it,” Mads said stretching a bit to get used to the familiar tightness.  
“Maybe soon you can just get them removed,” Timo said leaning against the doorframe.  
“Yeah, but this will have to work for now,” Mads sighed taking it off and putting on the oversized t-shirt he liked to sleep in.  
“Need help washing the dog?” Mads asked turning his head to cough.  
This had become a habit of his ever since he started wearing binders.  
He read somewhere that it helped to prevent pneumonia.  
“Only if you want to,” Timo said with a smile.  
“Yeah, the little furball needs to get used to me somehow,” Mads said trying not to show how much he actually was happy for Kukka to be there. 

Over the next few days Kukka had kind of warmed up to Mads to the point she was ok with him approaching Timo.  
To be honest Mads could relate to the puppy on that.  
Mads would give anyone he didn’t know a mean look when ever they got to close to Timo or made Timo uncomfortable.  
Mads had always been the protective type and Timo deserved to be protected in his eyes.  
Timo was the first person to ever call him by his name.  
The first person to ever accept truly Mads for who he was.  
So of course, Mads was going to protect Timo to the best of his ability. 

Currently Mads was laying on the couch trying to make his dizziness go away.  
He was told it was of hormone therapy, but he didn’t realize it was going to be this bad.  
Timo was at work so Mads couldn’t ask him to help him.  
Kukka jumped up on the couch next to him and licked his cheek.  
Mads opened one eye shocked because Kukka hadn’t approached him like that before.  
Kukka looked at him for a moment and laid down next to him and put her head on Mads leg.  
“Kukka, I’m sorry, I can’t play with you right now. The room won’t stop spinning,” he said closing his eye again. 

About that time the door opened and Mads heard someone walk in.  
Kukka stayed laying down but Mads could feel her tail wagging franticly.  
“Mads?” He heard Timo’s voice from the door.  
“You ok?” Timo’s footsteps grew closer as Mads felt him kneel down at the side of the couch.  
“Doc upped my dosage today, I’m a bit dizzy from it,” He said keeping his eyes shut.  
“I’ll be fine, I just might need help getting to the bed to lay down,” Mads said with a weak chuckle.  
He was starting to feel sick.  
“Ok, hang on, I’ll help you there. Kukka sweety please move so I can get him to the bed,” Timo said shooing the little dog off the couch. 

After the two made it to the bedroom Kukka came following and watched as Timo put Mads in bed.  
“How are you feeling now?” Timo asked concerned.  
“A tiny bit better. I can keep my eyes open now without wanting to throw up,” Mads said with a sigh.  
“That’s good,” Timo thought about what he was going to say for a moment and tried to figure out how to not upset Mads.  
“Look, I care about you and I know this is a decision only you can make, but maybe you should take the dosage back down,” Timo said hoping Mads didn’t take it the wrong way.  
“The doctor said I’d be ok after a few times,” Mads said shaking his head and instantly regretting so as a wave of dizziness hit him again.  
“Well, if your sure… I just hate seeing you like this,” Timo said noticing how Kukka was now pawing at the bed to get up.  
“Kukka wants to comfort you,” Timo said with a soft smile.  
“Fine, let the furball up here,” Mads said feigning annoyance.  
Timo saw right through it and chuckled as he reached down for the pup.  
He placed Kukka closer to Mads legs to try to keep her away from his face.  
Kukka laid down again and closed her eyes for a nap.  
“She’s got the right idea, I’m coming in too,” Timo said waiting for Mads’s reaction.  
When he saw Mads smiled Timo crawled in next to him and wrapped his arms around Mads.  
He kissed Mads softly on the cheek and rested his head on top of Mads’s head.  
“Our small little family. You me and Kukka,”, Timo whispered before falling asleep.


End file.
